Structure
Paragraphs
There are too many paragraphs. One or two-sentence paragraphs can be combined topically/thematically. Ideally, each paragraph should be a miniature essay, with the first sentence of the paragraph introducing the topic of the paragraph.
The text of doom can easily be split into two paragraphs: one about Letica and her upbringing, and then one about the plot itself. Alternatively, you can have one about Letica and the setup for the plot, and then one for the plot and all the romances. Synopses in general should aim for as few paragraphs as possible, since there should not be multiple themes/topics. Examples for a two-paragraph structure include:
Plot | Information about the anime/manga and some adjectives describing the anime/manga's tone and its genre
Character setup | plot
Plot | Questions/predictions about where the plot will go, adjectives about the tone of the anime/manga
Sentence Flow
Each sentence should flow smoothly from the previous sentence. There should not be any sentences that feel like they stand alone on an island. A surefire way to help sentences flow smoothly is through the use of transition words and/or phrases.
Transitional words and phrases can create powerful links between ideas and can help your reader understand the logic. However, these words all have different meanings, nuances, and connotations. Before using a particular transitional word in your paper, be sure you understand its meaning and usage completely and be sure that it's the right match.
"Her parents leave for the Canary Island to work for CERN at the beginning of the series after arranging for her to live with their long-time family friend, Hino Satoshi, a monk with an amazing voice. Satoshi lives in an old shrine atop a hill. However, shortly after. [sic] Satoshi leaves for the Bermuda Triangle on a year-long voyage, leaving Letica having to stay in the same mansion with his son, Duke."
This sentence, "Satoshi lives in an old shrine atop a hill." does not flow well with the preceding sentence, or even the sentence after it. The preceding sentence is mainly about Letica's parents leaving her to stay with Satoshi, while this sentence is primarily about Satoshi himself. The sentence after this one is about Satoshi leaving. An easy way to fix this sentence is to just combine it with a sentence that has other information about Satoshi.
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